littlestpetdjpinkie:

When people with bad grammar try to insult you like

image

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

"Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant"

THE REALEST THING I HAVE EVER READ (via dingyfeathers)

OH MY GOD YES

(via exrayed)

"Dolores told her the world would not want to see them together. She said most humans didn’t like seeing two girls in love. Maebh told her selkies weren’t like that; they mated and raised their young together in pods, but love was love, and it was something else entirely."
— Betsy Cornwell, Tides (via simplyringrose)